Tag Archives: behavior

I’m gonna make you love me

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When I was a little girl, my parents used to listen to Diana Ross songs and I would sing along pretending to be, “The Boss”. One song in particular had the chorus, “I’m gonna make you love me, oh, yes I will, yes I will…”. As a child, I never considered what that meant until I entered adolescence and became an adult. I eventually learned the lesson that you cannot “make” anyone to love you. My encounters with Wizpert clients reinforce this concept.

I continuously attempt to teach others this lesson as we discuss the topic of relationships. They want to “make them understand” or “make them see” certain things regarding who they are and what they want from a relationship and how they are going to obtain it from that other individual. These individuals are not taking into consideration or respecting the concept of “free will”. How can anyone expect for someone to remain in a relationship when the desire to impose his or her will upon the other individual?

One of the many benefits of being a Wizpert is the opportunity to help other individuals to gain insight into their wants, needs, and desires as they come to terms with the status of their relationships. Helping them to understand that both parties in a relationship has free will to pursue peace and happiness is important. They cannot force someone to stay when their mind and heart is already out the door. I advocate personal development and I believe that no matter the status of a relationship, an individual can be a champion in the situation as they take what has occurred and use it as a means of growth. If that growth results in saving the relationship, than that is an advantage. If that growth does not result in saving the relationship, it provides the individual with a certain level of peace and the opportunity to apply those lessons learned in another healthy relationship.

In the end, everyone who is in a relationship should learn that no one is, “The Boss.”

Donetta D. Quinones, MS, CHBC

Wizpert is a platform for everyday advice that connects people with experts on a variety of topics. To chat with Donetta or one of our other wizperts, click the button below.

The dynamics of major life events

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I became a Wizpert just over a month ago. I honestly was not sure what to expect when I agreed to deliver advice to members over Skype. I was a bit nervous about whether I would be well received or not. I think anyone would be in that situation. It seems almost arrogant to call myself a relationship and personal growth “expert” although I have to admit I have had a lot of experience in both areas. I lost my mom last year to cancer and I have been through divorce, single parenthood and remarriage. I understand the dynamics involved in major life events.

I am so glad I took a chance on this new adventure. I have handled many calls and all of them are unique. I am so humbled when someone asks if they can favorite me. I have had a few people come back and tell me that I was very helpful and the let me know how their problems turned out. The fact that they felt I helped them enough that they wanted to return and thank me means so much.

The requests for advice range from unrequited love to learning to let go of a relationship that no longer “Works”. I love helping my clients look into their hearts and see what it is they really want or need in their relationships. I like to remind people that we are all worthy of love and respect. I find most of my clients know what they need to do and they just want a little support from a neutral party to help solidify their decisions. I find this is a great way to give back for all the love and support I received from others in my own life. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you “It’s okay! You are making a good decision” or “you need to do what is best for you”. That is what I am here for!

I am truly honored to be a Wizpert!

- Melissa

Wizpert is a platform for everyday advice that connects people with experts on a variety of topics. To chat with Melissa or one of our other wizperts, click the button below.

It’s your time: COMMIT OR QUIT!

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Time. What is time? God’s gift to us every day. Are you using your time for your purpose or wasting your time on irrelevant things? Often we hear people say tomorrow isn’t promised or we even say it ourselves. If we all truly believe this why do we take time for granted? Commit or quit helps with this. You’re either going to commit to the cause or quit.

Career: If you don’t see your job going anywhere, COMMIT OR QUIT!

Relationships: If you know deep down inside you can’t or won’t spend the rest of your life with this person, COMMIT OR QUIT!

Happiness: We all should have it. Half of the time we settle for unhappiness because of comfort. There are over 8 billion people in the world. There is someone out there for you. COMMIT OR QUIT!

You control your happiness. Being alone is better than dealing with someone that’s unfaithful, disloyal and keeping you unhappy. COMMIT OR QUIT!

Stop complaining and start working toward change. You can’t keep doing the same things over and over from your past thinking you’re going to have a new future. It doesn’t work like that. Make a change, and that includes people. COMMIT OR QUIT!

At the end of the day you’re responsible for your own life. If you’re not truly happy and living the best, peaceful, blessed and happy life, take a look in the mirror and make some changes.

- Author Terry Bams

Wizpert is a platform for everyday advice that connects people with experts on a variety of topics. To chat with Terry or one of our other wizperts, click the button below.

Honesty in relationships

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One of the most common tips you hear about having a successful relationship is to be open and honest. It helps build trust, security, and allows a couple to truly get to know each other. Yet despite those benefits honesty is usually lacking in most relationships. The unfortunate reality is that many people find telling a lie to be easier and much more convenient. It allows them to manipulate the outcome of a situation and avoid an unwanted response. We have all done it at some point but is it really worth it?

Not at all. Yes telling that lie may get a more desired outcome at that moment but there is a price paid for the deception. Lies breed more lies and in a relationship this can create a very negative/unhealthy environment. You may think you are getting away with it and that it will be harmless. Yet at some point the damage done will find a way to surface and bring down your relationship. Taking a honest approach may let to some friction initially but it will set you up for success long term. Your partner may not like what you say but they will take comfort in the fact that you are always honest with them. This will make it much easier to work through any issues and mistakes made. It will also allow the both of you to get more in tune with each other. This equips both sides with a greater ability to fulfill each other and create a much more loving/positive environment.

A person always has the choice to be honest or to simply tell a lie. As scary as honesty may seem at times it is still the best approach. “The truth shall set you free” and “Honesty is the best policy” are very true statements. It would be in the best interest of people to fully embrace them and implement an honest approach in their relationship. It may not always get you what you think you want but it will likely get you exactly what you need.

- Stephan Labossiere
Certified Relationship Coach & Expert

Wizpert is a platform for everyday advice that connects people with experts on a variety of topics. To chat with Stephan or one of our other wizperts, click the button below.

An honest ear

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It seems like I’ve been a life-long relationship adviser; from my family and friends to people I just meet while running errands – people naturally gravitate towards me seeking help with their personal (and professional) issues.

Wizpert has given me a forum to pass on my personal experience, wisdom and knowledge beyond my immediate family and friends. Ever since joining, I’ve been in touch with a host of individuals in need of advice on a variety of personal matters, heck, I’ve even picked up a few regular Wizpert users who feel comfortable with sharing their concerns and allowing me to guide them while attempting to find personal resolve for their “respective situations.”

I can be brutally honest or just the ear need to listen to their problems; I earnestly try to give those who are connected with me the encouragement, support and guidance needed to make the best decision(s) on their dilemmas. I’m not here to judge or demean, call you names or make you feel less than – I am here to help. Wizpert has not only expanded my reach but provided the tool to allow those who are in need the ability to contact me (or other wizperts) any time of day or night; you don’t have to struggle you can have one-on-one access when you need it.

I’m excited to have gathered a following in such a short-time – it confirms my words are helping those in need and I am proud of this accomplishment. I strive to give anyone I connect with the answers to their questions never breaking your confidence and trust. Whether connect with me directly from Wizpert or through my website – I am here, ready and willing to help YOU!

- Ms. Nix

Wizpert is a platform for everyday advice that connects people with experts on a variety of topics. To chat with Ms. Nix or one of our other wizperts, click the button below.

How relationships shape us

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Relationships – our lives revolve around them, when they’re are going good our world is complete, when they go wrong, it feels like your whole world is being turned inside out. You can’t concentrate on anything else, your emotions rule over your head, as we try to wade through the muddy murky mess, unsure of a decision, or which direction to take. This is where I come in, and the exact reason that I am so honored and excited to be a ‘Wizpert.’ I am an unbiased, nonjudgmental, 3rd party observer, and not emotionally invested, meaning that I can give you a clearer perception of your relationship issue, which may feel daunting to you until you can see it from another perspective. Another reason why Wizpert is such an awesome tool, is that you talk live, one on one with a person that their only agenda, is to offer you their knowledge on the topic.

Relationships whether they’re good or bad, help to shape us into the people that we’re supposed to be in this world, playing a very vital role in our growth. I believe that there is a lesson to be learned in every situation, if you choose to do the work. In relationships 2 halves, never make a whole, the relationship that you have with yourself is the lifeblood of any and every relationship, that you will ever have. Especially as women, we sometimes forget our worth, or make the mistake in letting another person assign you a value.

To maintain a healthy relationship, it takes work. There is no right or wrong in the language of love, we all love differently, and sometimes help is needed to figure it all out. I truly love helping other people, I’m a firm believer in sharing knowledge, so if there is something that I’ve experienced, and can use it to help another, I’m all for it.

- Brenda
B Love B Fit B Beautiful

Wizpert is a platform for everyday advice that connects people with experts on a variety of topics. To chat with Brenda or one of our other wizperts, click the button below.

Our natural state: feeling loved

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Feeling loved and being loving is our natural state. When we are not connected with this state, we are constantly searching for it. Unless of course we are feeling so depressed that we have given up looking. When times are tough, we often find it too overwhelming to stay connected to how we really feel. So we sometimes act out e.g. through compulsive eating or drinking, feeling insanely jealous in a relationship, or trying to control someone we love.

Your body is a landscape of information and your feelings are your compass and can lead you to the truth about an illness, any repetitive syndrome you may suffer from, whether they are nightmares, repetitive sore throats, headaches, or even repetitive problems with in your relationships. To restore your inner harmony, or simply put… to just feel better, it is vital to stay connected to your feelings. If you are not well practiced at staying in tune with your feelings and being able to express them, then it’s really important to be able to turn to someone for support.

I was really pleased to be invited to be part of Wizpert, so that my support could reach people I would otherwise not meet. My expertise lies in resolving issues that trouble people, self-healing and well-being. Self-healing always involves first connecting with how you feel. And I can teach you how to improve your relationships and gain clarity around difficult issues you might be facing. There is always a way to feel better.

- Helen

Wizpert is a platform for everyday advice that connects people with experts on a variety of topics. To chat with Helen or one of our other wizperts, click the button below.

Advice served with a large helping of humor

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After attending the New Media Expo in Las Vegas and discovering many new and creative platforms, I was extremely interested in Wizpert. They have a new and fresh approach for something that is truly needed for people and that is a place to go where you can interact with someone directly in real time with no waiting. There are many places to search out advice on the web but nothing quite like Wizpert. A person is given the opportunity to seek advice or just talk to someone by selecting his or her own personal Wizpert from a group of experts varying in all areas of expertise.

In my case, I write a blog that discusses relationships, dating, music and real life problems from a funny point of view. I always say that I have lived 9 lives and I truly have so, why not give someone the opportunity to learn from my experiences, lessons, and mistakes? My Wizpert conversations will provide good advice but will always be served with a large helping of humor. One of the most important things I have learned from all of my trials and tribulations is that you will have a much more enjoyable life if you can take your problems and digest them with a laugh.

Wizpert is a place to come where you can feel safe asking anything. It is comforting for people to know that a lot of us have been through the same or similar experiences and that he or she is not alone. My Wizpert chats even help me in life and writing.

I am not a relationship counselor or a therapist but I have an intense passion and love for what I do. This makes me an expert, a.k.a. Wizpert. So, stop by and give me a click – promise to make you laugh or at least giggle a little.

- Melany

Wizpert is a platform for everyday advice that connects people with experts on a variety of topics. To chat with Melany or one of our other wizperts, click the button below.

The job of a good listener

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I have always loved helping people, listening to them and helping them clarify the problems they face and working towards solutions if possible. Whether it was with kids or adults nothing has ever given me greater satisfaction. There are so many people who need someone to talk to and preferably someone objective.

The job of a good listener is not necessarily to solve problems. I believe anyone who thinks he or he has all the answers is dangerous and delusional. What one wants is someone able to listen. Then it becomes my challenge to see I can find a way to help the person deal with whatever it is that is troubling him or her.

I deal with all kinds of personal problems but I add a spiritual dimension. I take a holistic approach combining ancient wisdom with modern. I also happen to be an expert in comparative religion so I can help people across the religious spectrum.

- Jeremy

Wizpert is a platform for everyday advice that connects people with experts on a variety of topics. To chat with Jeremy or one of our other wizperts, click the button below.

There is a time for everything

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Wizpert contacted me after having come across my website where I post my watercolor paintings and blog about my writing. I thought it would be a great adventure to become a wizpert. As one of the areas of my “expertise” I picked Spiritual Advice. I do not see myself as “Master” of any sort. I am just happy to be able to support spiritual seekers just like me on their path. I am always open about this to people who chat with me on Skype. I have 10 years experience of Buddhist meditation, plus an interest in the Sacred Feminine and a year of working on the Bardic course of the Order of Bards, Druids and Ovates.

Recently I had very emotional, very touching conversations with Wizpert clients. The easiest aspect of these conversations for me is the fact that my clients and I face similar challenges in life, of which I often tell them. My Buddhist background allows me to realize that there is no such thing as “bad” feelings or thoughts. I remind people that feelings are OK, thoughts are OK, they come and they go. We do not have to beat ourselves over them.

My Bardic course underlined for me the old wisdom that there is a time for everything – which goes against the grain in our capitalist society. I often find my clients have internalized this urge to be on top of the situation all the time, to be cheerful all the time, to be energetic all the time. This does not happen in nature. In winter, everything hibernates. At times of low energy in our lives, it is much wiser to just let it happen. The energy we waste on trying to perk ourselves up will be wasted, and we will not be able to use it on constructive work when the time of action comes in our lives.

- Oxana Poberejnaia

Wizpert is an online advice platform that connects users with experts on a variety of topics. To chat with Oxana or one of our other wizperts, click the button below.